Heartbreak from a parent

is probably one of the worst heartbreaks you could ever endure in your lifetime. The older I get, the more I learn how common this is. If you have been or are currently going through such a thing I’ll be the first one to say that I’m sorry. And if you’re reading this and can’t relate I want to remind you how blessed you are. Some of us aren’t as fortunate (no need to feel guilty though just be extra appreciative and hug them a little tighter the next time you see them).

To those of you who have felt this type of pain before; I want to reassure you that no matter how sad this is, you’re not alone. It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to be confused. It’s ok to be upset. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to scream. It’s ok not to know how to feel… and it’s especially ok to not want to talk about it.

Being a parent is hard! It isn’t for the weak (that much I do know). And while these aren’t justifications for hurtful actions, I too, am trying to make sense of it all.

Just because it seems like they don’t love you doesn’t mean that they don’t. Maybe they aren’t capable of loving you properly because they don’t love themselves.

Just because they left doesn’t mean they didn’t want to stay. Maybe they needed to find themselves.

Just because they don’t reach out doesn’t mean they don’t want to. Maybe they don’t know how or can’t find “the right” words to say.

Just because they brought you into this life doesn’t mean they could give you one worth living. Maybe for that, they feel guilty.

Or maybe, just maybe, they wanted a break.

One thing I’ve learned during my lifetime is that people aren’t perfect. Never have been. Never will be. I don’t know what anyone might take away from this but maybe it’ll be this…

To my fellow hurt offspring: even if they haven’t (or don’t ever) apologize — forgive them anyway.

To the parents who have done the hurting and can’t find the right words to say — reach out anyway.

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