3 Ways to Actually Care Less What Others Think About You

If you’re insecure and self-conscious about your actions, this might change your mind.

Caring about what other people think is inherently normal. Historically speaking, it’s even good for us. It helped us fit in with our tribe, create powerful group dynamics to survive, and find mates to reproduce.

Modern life has changed that.

It seems to be a trend to “not give a f*ck.” It’s acclaimed to ignore the advice of others. But I’m not afraid to say it: I do care what others think about me. I like being there for other people. I like making other people happy.

However.

There are certain occasions when people-pleasing gets dangerous. For example, when thoughts become disruptive, actions don’t align with core values, and caring threatens self-worth.

In other words, when we feel like we’re not our authentic ‘self.’

For occasions like these, we have to learn to switch off our primal instincts. We have to return to our true selves and realign with our actual intentions.

Here are three ways to do exactly that.

Recently, I went to a party. Somehow I managed to bump into someone within the first ten minutes and splashed my drink all over my t-shirt. “How embarrassing,” I thought, “this night is ruined.”

But then I remembered the phenomenon of the spotlight effect.

And so did I.

When I roamed around the party, I expected everyone to come up to me and make fun of my wet shirt. That didn’t happen. In fact, no one said anything about it. And even if people had noticed, they would have forgotten the morning after.

By remembering the spotlight effect, I was able to enjoy my night carelessly. An hour later, my shirt had dried, and even I forgot about the…

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